Gone.

I have been thinking about chopping my hair off...but wasn't really sure. Since I just broke out of a relationship, I decided to go for something new and bold. I have a friend who is about to finish her cosmetology training program and asked her if she would so graciously cut it for me.

Delighted, she agreed.

I cut off about 7 to 9 inches of my hair. It was time. I missed it for two seconds...the emotional attachment has yet to wear off.  I like it. It different, edgier...at the same time still me.

I was thinking about something Joyce Meyer had mentioned during one of her teachings I was listening to the other day. She talked about how she loved what she did for the Lord teaching the word of God on a daily basis. She mentioned something about, really knowing our identity and not tying ourselves to any one thing...to where it completely defined us.

I thought about this and pondered, why yes, we should have a good foundation in the Lord that no matter what we did before, are doing and maybe later won't, that any particular anything wouldn't cause an identity crisis.

Me cutting my hair did set this off. I waved my hair back and forth and it's gone...all excess 7 to 9 inches of it! Wow...the last time I cut my hair this short, was back in November of 2008.  That was four years ago. I had received the occasional trim, but I never had cut that much length off, in one swift move.

I thought about Samson, and how his hair was his glory. How in my Mexican culture men find women with long luscious hair more attractive. My ex loved my long hair. I almost chickened out.

I still did it.

Now I have less hair and even though I really, really enjoy it long. It doesn't define who I am. It was quite crazy actually when she was cutting my hair I felt like I was on the steep dip down on a really high roller coaster, I had to hold my stomach. Even now writing this I want to cry.

My hair is still curly, a little less lioness even. But, it's done, it will grow back. I needed a change.
Blah, I didn't realize how attached I was to something that is dead. Lol.

Ok Amanda, it's gone you can't put it back, it doesn't in any way, shape or form change who you are. Hopefully, I didn't hurt the Lord's feelings by doing it.


All of the sudden, I have the urge to express myself creatively, physically....do stuff that I haven't done and have longed to do. I have nothing holding me back. Lord help me find my way. Help me find what it is I should focus on at this moment. I need you father, I love you.